If I Only Had a Day - from Inspired by Autism by Claudreen Jackson

(I did finally manage to get that day. Down through the years I have managed to do all of the things that I mention in the poem.)

We want to help other parents to get that day.

If I only had a day
To wash my cares away,
To soak in the tub, to get a back rub.
To find the me that I use to be.
Do I still have an identity?

If I had a day without this child
Would I feel that I could smile?
Maybe for a little while
I could go visit friends
and reacquaint myself with them.
And I could feel like me again.

Could I go see a show
Relax and laugh and let troubles go?
Could I go to dinner and see how it feels
To eat a good meal that is real?

If I only had a day
Would I find a way
To catch up on my chores,
To sweep all my floors?
To make my house all nice and clean
So I could have some company?

If I only had a day
Would I have a chance to say
All the things that are on my mind,
To feel like I have free time
To try on my clothes,
To polish my toes.
To exhale at last
To complete a big task.

I'm tired of cryin'
I want to start tryin'
To put things back together again.
But I need a day
To find my way
Its coming, but I don't know when.

This mothering that never ends
I'm smothering in all my trends
I really try to do my best,
But don't know if I pass the test
In trying to manage all my stress.
So if I only had one day
Could I find the proper way?

Some time to work
Some time to play?
Or would I just go
To bed and stay?

©copyright 2009, Claudreen Jackson, all rights reserved